My birth story
Hey, all you wiener lovers! Hope you had a very safe and happy 4th of July! It was fairly uneventful around here. Well, other than Katie quaking with fear every time a firecracker went off. I hate to admit it, but even I felt sorry for her!
Okay, as promised, today is the story of my birth. I was born January 20, 2003. Now, as you can see from my picture above, I was a very tiny little baby! What happened was, my Papa, who happens to be my Momma's nephew, wanted a Miniature Dachshund. Momma said he could finally get one after her old Dobie, Tyler, passed away. I never met Tyler, but from what I heard, he was an awesome Doberman who lived to be 13 years old! More on him later.
So the search was on for a most amazing wiener puppy!
Our Mamaw, who is my Momma's Mom and my Papa's Grandma (see, I told you I have a weird family structure!), just happened to find me in the hills of Arkansas. Can you say road trip?! When they got there, my Papa fell in love with me. Can you blame him? I mean, just look at how darn cute I am!
I was so very tiny! I was nine weeks old in the picture above and weighed less than one pound! I have chew toys bigger than that! But my Momma and Papa loved me! Of course, they also christened me with that godawful Star Trek moniker I spoke of earlier, so I question exactly how much they loved me! But it's all good. I ended up with a cool name, Jazzy the Amazing Wiener! Okay, so maybe I added "...the amazing wiener" part, but it's true and you know it!
So that's the end of the story.
Just wanted to make sure you were still paying attention. :)
Next thing you know, I have to go to the doggie hospital 'cause my poo didn't look good (yes, you get all the gory details in this blog! and what's even worse is that Mom looked at my poo. Ick!). The doggie doctor told my Momma I caught something at my previous home, I was very sick, and might not make it! Plus, on top of that, I was very skinny to be nine weeks old even though my little belly was fat! Oh, and to make things even worse, my fontanelle (the soft spot on the top of a baby's skull) wasn't closed! He told Momma it didn't look good!
(If this were a Grey's Anatomy episode, dramatic music would be cued about right now, McDreamy would be looking grim, and Meredith would look, well, like freaked-out Meredith always looks!)
Back to the story. Mom had just lost Tyler and she was determined she wasn't going to lose me, so she and my Papa took turns feeding me every few hours and giving me medicine. They watched me like a hawk! Looking back, it explains the weird dreams of giants looming over me that I had as an infant!
In just a few weeks, I bounced back with a vengeance and next thing you know, I'm up eating kibble like a pro! The plate's bigger than me, but by golly I still ate like the little piglet I am!
Granted, I still wasn't very big, but I knew I was going to turn out to be one amazing wiener, which I have done! That was a whole six years ago and boy, do I have a lot of stories to tell over the past six years. I've been through a lot for a little wiener. These Hollywood stars, they ain't got nothing on me for drama and excitement!
Like next up, when Momma and Papa brought me home, they introduced me to a giant dog that weighed 138 pounds! And I'm not kidding when I say giant. He was a mutant! He could have been Primus in Transformers! They put me on the floor with this huge, black dog that looked like me, but I tell ya, his paw was bigger than my head! That's the next story you get to hear: meeting the infamous Grady the Doberman!
A little trivia about our first meeting: Grady was scared of me! :)
So, that's the story of my birth. Like I said, I bounced back with a vengeance! The picture below shows me only a few weeks after my near-death experience. Don't I look cute?!
Until then, all you wiener lovers, this is Jazzy the Amazing Wiener saying live long and prosper! Oh, my dog! Where did that come from?! See, Mom, you've ruined me with your Star Trek stuff! Sheesh!
Love, Jazzy the Amazing Wiener