Happy Birthday, Grady, I miss you!

Hey, all ewe wiener lovers! Okay, first ting ewe might notice is I'm typin' like I normally tweet! Whut does dis meen for all my loyal readers? Well, it meens my spellin' an grammar ain't too good. Mom an I had a weally long diskussion about it and although she tinks dat I shud spell my stuff right, I told her, "Mom, look...my fans like da way I talk, so ewe jest need to get ofer urself and let me type like I want!" She jest shook her hed at me and sighed. She does dat a lot!

I nos I promised more about my birth story, but today I wanna talk about my big brother, Grady. Today is his birfday an he wud haf been 11 years old. Yeah, dat meens he's gone on to da Rainbow Bridge last year. I miss him oh so much an I know Mom does, too. He was my giant bubby, so I'm gonna tell ewe a wittle bit about him...

Baron Grady O'Malley (Grady)

Grady was a weally big Doberman Pinscher who weighed, like, I dunno, maybe like a thousand pounds! Well, maybe not dat much, but he was weally big, like 138! Wen I met Grady, I was a wittle whippersnapper an only wayed like, not even a pound! I went up to him, sniffed him weally good, and ewe no whut he did?! He was skeered! Seeriously, the big galoob was skeered to death of me! Don't belief me? Look at dis pikchur!

Grady cryin' for his Momma!

I hadn't even dun nothin' when he started cryin' like a big baby! I had to tell Mom, "Look, mom, all I did was sit by him and he started crying 'she's touchin' me! she's touchin' me!' I weally didn't hurt him, I promise!" I tink dat was da beginning of Mom's sighs wid me an all...

So, wight afer dat happened, I sed, "Look, big guy, I promise I'm not gonna hurt ewe. I jest wanna get one ting straight, okay?" He looked at me wid dos big brown eyes, an sed, "Let me guess...ur in charge?" I toll him, "Wow, ur weally smart for a Doberman!" He jest sighed weally big, too. I dunno how come everyone sighs around me so much!

Coming to an understanding

Later, he toll me dat his older broder, Tyler, used to be in charge, so he was used to it. Grady never was one to care who was in charge, jest so long as someone was in charge of fillin' da food bowl!

My big broder, Grady, was a weally awesome dog. When I was wittle bitty, he wud let me take da toys away frum him, even tho I nos he cud prolly eat me wid one bite! He never, ever, ever even growled at me, even tho I was sumtimes meen to him. I wud snap and snarl, an even twied to hump his leg a few times! I dunno if dogs roll der eyes, but I figger Grady prolly rolled his a time or two wid me when I was a silly little wiener puppy!

Da thing dat I loved about Grady more dan anything in da world is dat he wud let me sleep on him! I wud crawl up on him, snuggle in, and he never made me move ever! Once, he was weally tired and rolled over on me. I guess he thought dat since I always slept on him, he cud on me, too. Well, while it mite haf been a photo op for mom, it did kinda squish me! Jest look...I'm a wittle freaked out!

Best friends

Aktually, I was okay until he snored. Geez louise! Talk about rattle da rafters! Mom took tons of pikchurs, den made dis one into a pet greeting card for TylerDog Cards. I tink it's my favorite card of all time 'cause it has my bubby an me on it.

After havin' him in my life for five whole yeers, my sweet broder, Grady, died last year at da age of 9 yeers old. Der isn't a day dat goes by dat I don't tink of him. I miss how he used to let me sit between his paws an chew on him. An I miss how he wud always go outside wid me to make sure nothin' ever got me. I miss how he wud come running if I ever barked, jest to make sure everything was all wight. An I weally miss how we used to sing wen da fire trucks went by...boy, were we ever a doo-et! I guess, wen it's all sed an done, I jest miss my big brother.

Rest in peace, sweet Grady. I love ewe...

Baron Grady O'Malley

August 4, 1998 ~ May 2, 2008

Happy Birthday, Katie!

Hey, all you wiener lovers! I know I promised my birth story next, but much to my chagrin, I forgot that today is Katie's birthday and she's a whole two years old! Now, for those of you who don't know Katie, well, Katie is my sister, a Doberman Pinscher (I told you I had a weird family story coming!). Mom brought her home two years ago and, while I didn't mind at the time because she was little, well, I sorta mind now. It's not that she's that bad, to be honest. It's just that I get really tired of her sticking my head down her throat! It's like she's measuring me for a hat with her mouth. Sheesh!

Anyway, when Mom first brought her home, she really was kinda cute. She played with me a lot and slept in my bed. Even now, if I lie down, she wants to sleep in my bed. What a baby! You'd think, her being a big, tough Doberman Pinscher, she'd act like it. No, not Katie! She's a wiener, and not in a good way like me! She's a pain in my patootie!

I mean, I can't go anywhere without Katie wanting to go. Gotta go pee? Katie comes to sniff. Gotta go poo? Katie comes to sniff. What?! Is she demented or something?! It's not like I go around sniffing her business, ya know! Sometimes, I just wanna go out and be a big girl dog, for cryin' out loud, without my little sister tagging along! I can't even meet the cute dog down the street without Katie nosing in, wanting to know what's going on and what I'm doing!

Oh, and get this! By now, most of you know I star in my Momma's greeting card line, TylerDog Cards. I'm like a major star, probably bigger than Oprah. Well, maybe not Oprah, but at least as big as Rachael Ray! So, like I'm a star. And I know how to pose. I wrote the book on posing for dog photography! And what does Katie do? She thinks that because she's new, she should get top billing! The minute Mom turns on the lights, Katie jumps up on the posing table, thinking she's the one who should be having her picture taken!

Well, this last time Mom set-up the lights, I let her have it! I'd already put up with enough of her prima donna ways, so when Mom put me on the table and Katie thought she should be up there, too, I really let her have it. Just look below to see my response...


Aren't my teeth pretty?! I tell you, I let her know beyond a shadow of a doubt, it was my turn and she needed to get off of my posing table! Needless to say, Mom had to intervene because Katie, the big crybaby, whined and cried. Geez! What a big baby!

Oh, wait...this was supposed to be a birthday tribute, right?

Well, I guess, when it's all said and done, I actually do sorta like Katie. She reminds me a little bit of my big brother, Grady, whom I will tell you about in coming posts. And Katie does love me. She's just young and stupid sometimes, like we all can be. Well, not me, but you know, everyone else. :)

And on that note, I suppose I should say, "Happy birthday, Katie! I love you!"